Goodbye... For Now.
Since I'm leaving in a week, and I don't know how much time I'm going to have, or if I'll be able to update this, this is going to be my last post.
I know a lot of you still ask my "why?" and most of the time I don't really give a straight answer, or I completely avoid the question. Just know that this is what I want to do, and it's going to be great for me. I understand that some of you may not see it the way that I do, and don't want me to go, but I feel that this is what's best for me.
I have been blessed to have the friends that I have. I would be a lost little boy without you guys. I've got so much to say, I don't even know where to begin.
Kellen...
You have been nothing less than a brother to me. I've always felt as if I were a part of your family, and as if you were a part of mine. We have never had any major discrepancies. You've always been there for me, and had my back at any time. I know that you would never fall short of doing anything for me. It's almost scary to think where I might be if it weren't for you. Our friendship has been amazing. I've looked up to you in so many ways, and some times even envied you. You've been such a huge inspiration to me. This is hard bro... words fail to describe how much you mean to me. Where would it be if it weren't for the good ol' "buddy system," and Sammy pairing us up. I'll never forget those days... or any for that matter. I love you Kel.
Nick...
What more can I ask for in a best friend? You're always concerned about what's going on with me, or how I'm doing. You, as well, have always had my back. You've always added a spark to my life that nobody else could. You've always been there to make me laugh, or at least try, when I needed it the most. I know you would do anything for me, and support most any decision I make. I know I've given you a hard time, at times, but you know I only mean the best. Tough love! I love you bro.
WSP...
"We ride together, we die together... Bad Boyz for life!" That's where it all started. Who would have known that all 3 of us lived just right around the corner from each other, if it weren't for the soccer team. Now here we are, 3 best friends, who wouldn't have known each other, otherwise. I'm gonna miss you guys! You know it's only temporary though. I'm not going to find new best friends, or run away and get married and have a bunch of babies. I will be back. I'm still plannin' on rollin' 3 deep on the bikes when i get back. I know that I haven't said too much lately, but that's because it's been kinda hard for me. This came fast, and I'm not really ready to say goodbye.
Nika...
You have been an amazing friend. You are the most kind and sweet person that I know, and probably ever will. I really do feel as if we're always in the same boat. You've helped me through so many hard times. You've always been there when I needed someone to turn to, or a shoulder to lean on. I have always cherished our friendship. I am ashamed that I let something come between us at one time, and if I could change that, I would because I know that we missed out on so much. You are truly a beautiful person. Keep your head up, and always smile, and don't let people take you for granted. You deserve the best, and don't settle for anythingn less. Love you chica.
Hadley...
You've touched my life more than you will ever know. I've learned a lot from you and our relationship. Our relationship was nothing less than amazing. I can't say that I wouldn't change a thing, because you know that I would. You'll always hold a piece of my heart. Again, words fail to describe how much you've meant to me. I know that things have been rough for us, but maybe one day all of this pain and grief will have been worth it. You'll always have a friend in me, and you should never feel alone. Don't ever doubt yourself. You're on such a great track, and I know you're going on to great things. Keep it up. You'll always be "My Hadley." Love you Hadles.
The Crew...
Man, I miss those summers we shared together. Those truly were "the days." Nothing was more fun than running through the corn fields, or just kicking it at the hay bails, talking about life, and the future. You guys have touched my life the most, and have helped mold me into the person I am today, and the person I will become. I love you guys more than anything!
Gaby...
You know... I was thinking the other day about how we became such good friends, and I really couldn't pinpoint where it all began... it just happened. You stuck to me like glue. High school would have been hell without you. You've always been someone that I could talk to, about anything, and you would always give me your honest opinion. You've always been there for me, and have helped me through a lot. I don't know what I would have done without you. Love you Scaby!
Samantha...
I don't know how it happened, but you've become a really great friend, especially over the past couple of months. We've grown a lot and have come a long ways since sophmore year. I don't think there are 2 people that have such contrasting personalities, that get along so well. I'm glad that we've become such close friends. You're an awesome person to be around, and your wise cracks and sarcasm always brighten my day. Love ya kiddo!
Ty-G...
"Pen tap on that note!" Man, High school and especially soccer, wouldn't have been the same without you. You've been a great friend. You've always brought humor to most any occasion. I envy you... you go to an awesome college on the beach! You've been one of the best, and most fun friends throughout high school. Love ya Ty-Jigga!
Shawna...
Who are we going to have to vent to now? I know that we didn't really hang out that much, but you've still been an awesome friend. I've never felt that you've been less than honest with me about anything. I'm going to miss our conversations. Love ya shawndigga!
Scott...
"NINJA TURTLES BITCH!"...haha, I had to throw that in there. Man, I've probably known you longer than anybody... since what, about 5 years old?? I practically grew up playing soccer and going to middle school with you. I even got the chance to play against you in high school... We're not going to mention who won that game. Hopefully we'll get the chance to hoop it up at least one more time before I leave. If not, I'll be back on leave, so we'll have to hit up the courts then. Much love Scoop!
...Well, that's a lot of love I just gave out. If I didn't throw you up there, you know if you're worthy or not, and for those of you that I might not have mentioned, much love to y'all.
To everyone: Good luck with everything. I hope that I get the chance to say goodbye to everyone before I go. For those of you that don't know.. I leave July 7th. I will be writing home, so if you're lucky, maybe Kel and/or Nick will post something up on their blogs:
http://www.vernickulas.blogspot.com/
http://www.swiss916.blogspot.com/
Well, that's it for me. Hope to see y'all around before I leave. Wish me luck!
2 Comments:
My Brother,
I dont even know where to start. 7 days left and im stressin! I remember the day we talked about the army at work. Long before u joined. And i remember telin u ive thought about it and that its a good path for some people. Now youre already signed up and leaving. i cant help but feel responsible/guilty. You leaving hurts me more than anything in my life thus far. I just hope this is the path for YOU! and i know, you will make me proud and youll prove to me that youre not a slacker (refering to an e-mail u sent me). Ive always been proud. You have trmendous potential brandon and i hope that the army can utilize that and help you.
I figured out that in the last 7 or eight years, we've only spent about a month to a month and a half without eachother per year. So around 30-45 days a year without seeign eachother. thats not very much. I dont know what im going to do when you leave. You have been such a good friend, a brother, a savior, a rockto balance me when im falling.
I sat today and counted all the times i texted you, IMed you, called you, saw you. All of those things i take for granted, for the next 3-3.5 years ill have none of them. Youre there for me when noone understands me, not even me. We are best friends. One of a kind. Eachother's families is our own family. Eachother's house is our house. We share everything from material things like PS2/N64s to secrets and confessions that noone else in the world besides you me, and of course nick (all of WSP. DUH!) knows.
I took the time i had these past years for granted. And now that there's so little left i want it all. And i apologize to everyone else but im greedy and selfish. I didnt pick up the concept of sharing very well.
I know hand-writign letters is hard but im willing to sacrifice all the ime in the world to keep in contact with you. I know ull be home in 17 weeks or so but again, ill have to share the time.
What am i gunna do when some pussy ass ho here in west sac tries to start crap with me. You know me, im a pacifist. You always got me pumped up to take no crap. U always let me know how to choose my battles. Which enemy's ass i could kick and who i should just stay away from. Plus, i knew i always had u as backup.
"Goodbye for now". Goodbye, to me, suggests permanence. This is NOT a permanent thing. you hear me?! You'll eb back! we WILL ride 3 deep on our bikes, we WILL have family bbqs, we WILL sign our sons up for little league with eachother, we WILL grow old and tell lies on the front porch, over, and over, and over.
I dotn know what to say. Im trying to say it all now cuz the day you leave im goign to eb a mess. Doubtful that ill even get a word our completely and clearly.
I love you brandon. Like a man loves a best friend. Like a brother loves a brother. Like a siamese twin loves his counter part that cant be surgically removed or else they'll die. Just cuz your gone from sac doesnt mean youre gone from my mind, my prayers, my thoughts, or my heart. Im rambling now and i apologize. Just so much to do and say.. so little time. Wish i coudl go with you. I cant even if i wanted to. But you know damn well if could go with you, if i didnt have asthma, and it was the life for me.. that i would be there with you. Motivating you, carrying you, protecting you. Instead im here at home praying, hoping God does all that for me.
Again, im rambling.. but i love you too Brandon.
Thank you for everything. I could write on and on, but I think I'd rather save my thoughts for my letter to you. I love you Brandon. You will be missed.
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