Karma

I've never been one to believe in "Karma." What goes around, comes around, ya know... But I now believe that things that I have done in the past, have now caught up with me. I had something that I truly felt was special, but I ruined it. I place the blame solely on myself, and I deserve every ounce of pain that I feel. The worse pain of all is not being able to ask for forgiveness, because I don't even have the guts to confess my wrong doings. Now I have a decision to make... Confess and ask for forgiveness, or continue to hold everything in and know that I was the coward, and I was the selfish one. For me, it seems like a lose, lose situation. I know if I confess, I won't be forgiven... It's not in her nature. And if I don't, sure I may salvage what relationship we have left, but I'll still have everything weighing on my mind. I know that the "right thing" to do would be to tell her. But I can't...

Caved...

I finally caved in and started a myspace. But not to worry... I'll stay faithful to my blog. I'm just finding anything to occupy the endless hours of time I have to kill, and that's one way of doing it. I've already talked to a couple of people who I haven't spoken to in quite some time. I guess it's nice. I feel a lot less lonely, that's for sure!

Today's agenda: SLEEP! I'm exhausted... I can't sleep at all lately. Another room inspection at 0900. Sleep until 1445. Take my paperwork in to receive my bonus at 1500. Hopefully I'll be back to my room within 30 minutes and able to grab another hour and a half of sleep. Then at 1700 it's time to get up and start my day... or should I say night. The wonderful 12 hour shift.

Tomorrow's agenda: The batallion commander is doing the room inspections, so since I work night shift, and I don't have to participate, so I have to hide for a few hours. Hopefully I can sleep where ever it is I end up. Then back to work once again.

The fool again...

I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. I must have a big god damn sign on my forhead that says, "please, play me... I don't mind." Here's a few questions for those that know me, particularly for the females, but males you can answer too... What's wrong with me? What do i do wrong? This one hurts... bad. Maybe not so much because of what happened, but because I allowed it to happen, when I knew better in the first place. Why is it that the ones that seem so right, and make you feel so good, turn out to be the ones that hurt you the most. When do I win?... When will someone put as much into me as I do to them?

Sup Y'all

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate being in Korea? So, how's West Sac? Live it up while ya can, because I'm telling you... It may suck now, but once you leave, you're going to realize that afterall, it is home, and it is where you want to be. Drop me a line, let me know what's going on and how everyone is doing.